thank you, too. for all times before and to come.
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there are so many reasons to smile. this is freaking awesome!
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i just found inspiration.
you know that feeling, when you just know something is how it's supposed to be? there's no turning back, whatever happens, happens? it's the easiest way to look at things, you know... because you take all the intellect out of it. and sometimes, that's how things have to be. but i'd like to think i have some control over my life. today, at least up to this point, has proved to be a disaster, if you ask me. plan a wasn't working so i think up plan b in 2 minutes, and then find out i also need a plan c, and then in the end, plan a worked out after all. in short, i did a lot of extra work that i didn't have to do. my energy could have been conserved, my energy could have been used for something more productive. but as we all know, my job requires a lot of flexibility. and that's just how it's gotta be.
but even with unexpected changes and an annoyed japanese girl (that would be me), i still like to think that i am the conductor of my own life symphony. maybe the violins hadn't been tuned right today, maybe the articulation in the trumpet fanfare was off. whatever it was, i need it fixed by tomorrow. life's too good to be fixing little things like that. let's go for the full canvas rather than the details. but deep inside, you know that the little things are the ones that count. those are the things that will be your laughing pill when you need it most. the seemingly insignificant things in life prove always the most significant. and luckily for me, i am quite fond of the details that life has to offer.
i performed a self-composed minuet in music class on monday. it doesn't have a title. it's a minuet for solo clarinet with piano accompaniment. i got to perform it in front of my music class. at first it was nerve-racking; i hadn't touched my main instrument in ages. but once i got up there, everything came back and i realized just how much i love the sound my my good ol' clarinet. it's been with me through everything, and i owe it many an apology for neglecting it for so long. but never fret-- i'm back on the ball. i am still a clarinetist, ladies and gentlemen. and i love it more than ever.
and now for the question of the day: why?
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hm. how would you describe this? you tell me, because i've no words to do it justice.
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i'd like to dedicate this post to my dearest best(est) friend, jay "willis" carvin.

uhm, we are too cute. yeah, we know. no need to tell us.
four years already. it sounds like such a long time but it feels so short. i sincerely cherish every moment i share with you, and they make me smile when i most need it. you have been steady, strong, willing, admirable, FRIKKIN' HILARIOUS, dedicated, trusting, trustworthy, and unconditional in our friendship. to say that it is an honor to be able to call you my best friend is an understatement. you have been there for me, supported me, tolerated me, kept up with me, slowed down for me, pulled me out of the gutter, listened to me, and most importantly, you never left me. and i really appreciate that.
on your 18th birthday, i wish you the most fabulous day you could have wished for, and remember that i will always be whatever you need, whenever you need. you have all my trust and friendship. for good.
happiest 18th birthday to my bestest friend. thank you.
your bestest friend forevermore,
mai kozai
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... psst! now go buy yourself some porn and get some of them lotto tickets! test your luck and have fun. here's to another year. :)
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